What men should know before getting married

evergreen

What men should know before getting married

Post by evergreen » Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:09 am

I found this article from Craigslist Toronto Rants and Rave here and found it so true for marriage in North America and I heard from the rest of the Angelosphere as well. The link is dead as this is last year's article. All men in North America should know these things about women.

http://www.toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/rnr/525306667.html

Date: 2008-01-01, 6:15PM EST


I think that there is a lot of unduly inflammatory and derogatory talk about women and marriage these days, and I believe that this stifles men from understanding several truisms about marriage. Women are not bad people, out to destroy men, or trying to trick men. Women and society simply have certain characteristics and men should be aware of these characteristics when they decide whether or not to get married.

1. You will be having sex once a month. This is not because women are trying to withhold sex from you. It is also not because women view sex (and particularly fellatio) as a loss leader or necessary evil before marriage. It is simply because women (unlike men) need to be seduced before sex. This means that during the courtship period where there are many romantic and fun events going on, she will want to have sex more often. After marriage, on the other hand, there will be far fewer of these romantic and fun events because (particularly if there are children) there is a lot of work to be done in order for the family to function smoothly. You will notice that if you take your wife to Paris or buy her jewelry, then you will all of sudden be having sex as often as you did before marriage. Some men would interpret this as a woman being some type of gold-digger or prostitute. However, it is simply a reflection that if a woman is feeling elated (something that will not happen very often after dealing with screaming kids all day), then she will want to have sex.

2. Women need a lot of attention. If you have ambitions on having a great career, then you should definitely not get married. This is because wives take a lot of time. You will need to speak to her on the phone, be home for dinner, go on vacations with her, and so one. Many men think that women will understand and accept that careers take a lot of time and effort to build, but this is not the case. Women, however, are unwilling to be left sitting at home all day until you arrive at 10:00 pm because you had a big meeting. Again, inflammatory language about women being dream killers or life destroyers is not helpful. You simply need to know that careers take a lot of time and your wife will also take a lot of time, and there will not be enough time available to have both. To put it another way, how would you like to live with someone you rarely saw? Wouldnt you want to find someone that you could at least see on a regular basis?

3. Women become less attractive over time. First, they gain weight. This is because married women have a lot to do (ie. taking care of the kids) and it is difficult to make exercising a priority. When they were younger, they could count on their high metabolism to keep thin, but that high metabolism is long gone. It is not that your wife is intentionally ballooning up after marriage, but this is what happens. If you cant accept being with a fattie, then dont get married. Second, wrinkles etc. appear and there is little that even the finest and expensive plastic surgeon can do. If you dont believe me, type in the name of any aging movie star and see how she looked in her prime and how she looks today.)

4. Marriage is a partnership. This, to my mind, is one of the hardest concepts for men to understand. They typically think of marriage as being what it used to be - a lifetime commitment. You need to understand that in a partnership (any partnership), if one person is unhappy, then that person can leave at anytime. Saying till death do us part in church is only binding in church. Once you are out the church doors, the marriage is determinable at will.

5. Men are always the losers in a divorce. If you or your wife want to get divorced, then the court will follow a very set pattern. The first issue is money. Since you have a greater earning capacity than your wife, the court will order that you must work to provide money to support the family. The second issue is custody of the kids. Since you are busy working, your wife will get custody. The third issue is the residence of the kids. Since your wife will decide that she wants a fresh start on the other side of the country and since it is in the best interests of the kids to have a happy custodial parent, the court will allow her to move across the country.

6. It is crucial that you ask your potential wife if she will change her last name to yours after marriage. If she refuses, then you will know that she is a very independent women and does not have family values. Any aspirations that you may have of someone calling your house and hearing an outgoing phone message saying that they have reached the Smith family will be over when she says she is not changing her last name. Also, there is going to be big problem with the last of the children, because your wife is not going to want the last name of her kids to be different than her last name. You should note that in some jurisdications (like Ontario, Canada), women have the sole right to name the children. Men have no right to any input whatsoever.

7. Your only role in the family is to pay the bills. This is very hard for men to accept, but women are absolutely convinced that they know what is best. You will not have discussions with your wife. Instead, she will explain to you why things must be done her way. This will, in effect, limit your input into the family to supplying the money that is needed to allow the family to function. You should also know that making money will be seen as very easy by your wife and not something that is worthy of respect. This is because she will know about all the hardships she suffered that day (because she experienced them), but the hardships you suffered will be foreign and unrelatable to her. Also, if you do not fulfill your role of paying the bills, then your wife will divorce you. This will be dressed up as her not being happy but you will notice very quickly that her new husband, coincidentally, is able to pay a lot of bills. (I would add that your only defence in a bad marriage is to quit your job. To be clear, dont threaten to quit your job, just quit it. This will shock your wife into seeing that you were doing something useful for the family afterall.)

8. You will not be able to watch what you want on television. This may sound trivial, but you should definitely try unplugging your television for a couple of months before getting married.

9. Ugly women can cause just as much trouble as good looking women. I am only making this point, because I know that some men think that the problems with women only apply to very attractive women and so if they find a less attractive woman, then they wont have to deal with the above. This is not true. Women behave very similarly in similar circumstances. Even the ugliest woman among us believes that she is beautiful on the inside and once you get married she will act as married women do.

I know what you are thinking. That your girlfriend is different and that the above wont apply to you. You are also thinking that you and your girlfriend are in love and that this again makes you an exception. You are, of course, free to think what you want, but I wish I had been warned.

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Modelautoman
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What men should know before getting married

Post by Modelautoman » Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:12 pm

Then gents, all I can say is be single and be a winner!

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superbad
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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:14 am

he paints an unfair picture of marriage... it's much worse :P

mobrules

What men should know before getting married

Post by mobrules » Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:44 pm

I do realize that it is a tongue and cheek critique of modern marriage. I still believe it can work because my parents are still married, they still love each other, and my brother and I are adults so there's nothing really forcing them to stay together. So they genuinely love each. However, that's the point, my parents actually believe in God, love, and marriage. However my mother isn't like these toxic beasts we call female in America. My mother accepts her role, and our family was based on a patriarchy. With the flaky and fickle matriarchy the women are horrid. Bring back the patriarchy! I honestly believe women do have it better when they don't call all the shots.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:31 am

i agree how many of us are REJECTING these trashy American women outright because they DO NOT act like mom? WE are not obsolete... if anything this country is going down in flames without more of US.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by ibook143 » Mon May 11, 2009 11:54 am

[quote author=superbad board=activism thread=85 post=720 time=1237284858]he paints an unfair picture of marriage... it's much worse :P[/qI agree superbad once married you go anywhere and all you see is the buffet you missed then you look at that nagging warhorse you have and wonder wtf was I thinking. uote]

ibook143

What men should know before getting married

Post by ibook143 » Mon May 11, 2009 11:59 am

If I were a king I would tell all American women this in my first formal decree.
1 put on a dress
2 sit down
3 AND SHUT THE FU@K UP.
We can all dream a little right?

ndt

What men should know before getting married

Post by ndt » Mon May 11, 2009 1:22 pm

[quote]If I were a king I would tell all American women this in my first formal decree.
1 put on a dress
2 sit down
3 AND SHUT THE FU@K UP.
We can all dream a little right?
[/quote]

+1 Exalt Brother ;)

also add:
4 Go to the kitchen and cook my meals from scratch.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Mon May 11, 2009 10:47 pm

LOL awesome guys :D. marriage in America is crap. i looked around at lunch. "men" all pimped out, fancy cars, clothes, new haircuts... women driving high dollar cars, liesure shopping... ugly women at that LOL.

i drive an old truck, dress down, and NONE of these women give me the time of day... i love it! and ironically guess who does? young 18-21 year old chicks... many are Latina... who just want to have fun.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by sjenner » Sun May 17, 2009 12:07 am

superbad- I am with you on this. I drive an old car its paid off, no debt, money in the bank, travel to South America and avoid Ameriskanks. And I bang 19 year old hot Latinas at almost 40 years old to boot. Drink good red wine and eat t-bone steaks. No bitch to nag me or fleece me of my cash.

irlandes

What men should know before getting married

Post by irlandes » Sun May 17, 2009 9:27 am

Sometime I gotta' write about the 78 year old man I knew who was living with a 26 year old chick, and they had two young babies, all this in rural Mexico. Things went really well until he forgot to go to the City and visit his wife at Christmas. :D In the end, he is still with the chick, must be well into his 80's.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by arcangel911 » Sun May 17, 2009 10:58 am

If I hear a man who says he is getting married, i tell him this:

Go to Walmart on a Saturday and Sunday, sit in the section with the comfy chairs for an hour to 2 hours. Watch all the people, especially the women, children and dragged along husbands who look like they are trying to figure out how things got this bad. Watch their actions and behaviors... and just for a good lark, bring a pad of paper with you and write down what you see.

Or, go to South America/Thailand/Russia/Ukraine... for three months and go to college there. If, you couldn't bring yourself to cheat or even go on a date with another woman.... then marriage is for you. If not, well.... guess you better fix things while they still can be fixed.

And as a added bonus, (this one did work btw) I tell them this story...

I had a friend a while back tell me that his Fiancee and him were discussing children. I had him come in and teach swimming lessons as a assistant instructor. When he began to wake up (after 3 weeks) to the ideas that children may not be in best interest with her, I told him to go and volunteer down at the local Boys and Girls chapter...

He lasted 2 days. Almost all the kids were messed up or came from a broken home.

He then told his Fiancee that he did not want children and did not think marriage was the best option at this time. He was 23 at the time. She was 20.

She is now 25, no degree, no job, and 4 kids at home. 1 of the kids is from a different father than her current husband.

My friend, has two cars, his own house, great job, decent amount of cash flow and is renting out his second house. He couldn't be happier.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Sun May 17, 2009 3:04 pm

, i was a slacks, button-down, tie kinda guy. now i wear jeans, tee, bandana. my truck looks like it is out of Madmax. result? gold diggers ignore me... but, ironically, i get attention from young girls.

awesome post ! you SAVED your friend's ass... SO many women end up like that. American women are award-winning ACTRESSES... enjoy it... but make sure that show goes on the road.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by arcangel911 » Sun May 17, 2009 5:04 pm

I just wished I could have saved all my friends, but alas, some guys just don't get it until it is far too late.

- save your good clothes for when you need them; dinner parties and or time down in South America where the chicks dig those kinds of threads. Don't throw good money on clothes for AW/WW...

irlandes

What men should know before getting married

Post by irlandes » Sun May 17, 2009 5:48 pm

[quote]If I hear a man who says he is getting married, i tell him this:

Go to Walmart on a Saturday and Sunday, sit in the section with the comfy chairs for an hour to 2 hours. Watch all the people, especially the women, children and dragged along husbands who look like they are trying to figure out how things got this bad. Watch their actions and behaviors... and just for a good lark, bring a pad of paper with you and write down what you see.

Or, go to South America/Thailand/Russia/Ukraine... for three months and go to college there. If, you couldn't bring yourself to cheat or even go on a date with another woman.... then marriage is for you. If not, well.... guess you better fix things while they still can be fixed.

And as a added bonus, (this one did work btw) I tell them this story...

I had a friend a while back tell me that his Fiancee and him were discussing children. I had him come in and teach swimming lessons as a assistant instructor. When he began to wake up (after 3 weeks) to the ideas that children may not be in best interest with her, I told him to go and volunteer down at the local Boys and Girls chapter...

He lasted 2 days. Almost all the kids were messed up or came from a broken home.

He then told his Fiancee that he did not want children and did not think marriage was the best option at this time. He was 23 at the time. She was 20.

She is now 25, no degree, no job, and 4 kids at home. 1 of the kids is from a different father than her current husband.

My friend, has two cars, his own house, great job, decent amount of cash flow and is renting out his second house. He couldn't be happier. [/quote]

Exaltations, Arcangel. In 5 years, she is married to someone else, has 4 kids at home, and 1 is not her husband's? Hee, hee. Oh, man, he should kiss your feet for that save!

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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Sun May 17, 2009 9:03 pm

feminism failed... it turned many women into glorified GFE's who feel entitled to half your stuff.

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Post by arcangel911 » Mon May 18, 2009 9:10 am

Half????? He he he he.......

That's only if they can't act in court or in front of the police and or have a dummy for lawyer. I am sure they are many men out there that wish their ex's had gotten half.

Isn't their an old saying: In divorce court, the best a man can get is half, and the worst the woman can get is half.....

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What men should know before getting married

Post by irlandes » Mon May 18, 2009 12:58 pm

Good one, arcangel. And, women should get when they file for divorce: 0%.

Divorce is supposed to mean the purpose of a marriage is over, thus the marriage should be terminated.

Yet, the courts continue the part of the marriage where the men gives money to the woman, and he gets:

Absolutely nothing in exchange.

Bad idea. Learn to enjoy bachelor life by one of the many means shown on this URL.

I married in 1975 to my Mexican wife, but I knew by 1984, when marital rape was fully implemented that it was not rational to marry in the Anglosphere. And, were I single, I would never marry here again. Bad idea.

Life is too good without being a legal slave. Marriage is only for those who can't live without their daily dose of insults; criticisms; and angry demands. :D

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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Mon May 18, 2009 4:13 pm

[quote]I am sure they are many men out there that wish their ex's had gotten half.[/quote]

[quote]Marriage is only for those who can't live without their daily dose of insults; criticisms; and angry demands. :D
[/quote]
exactly guys! "i do" = CASTRATION. the Latina i dated, bless her heart, begged me to send a box of her stuff back to her... instead of getting half i paid $40 postage and KEPT all her other stuff LOL.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by arcangel911 » Mon May 18, 2009 8:33 pm

Makes me wonder what was in that box, that she wanted so much.... ;)

irlandes- are you saying that you would not get married in Mexico? Or did you get married in the states? (sorry, i get confused sometimes)

irlandes

What men should know before getting married

Post by irlandes » Mon May 18, 2009 9:28 pm

arcangel, I did get married in the States to a Mexican woman, in 1975. I was an activist in the 80's and early 90's. By 1985, it was obvious with the marital rape laws that marriage was essentially 'dead' in the US, and to marry in the US was a bad idea, which is still the truth. That is the purpose of this URL, I believe, to help men be comfortable and happy with being bachelors, so they do not feel compelled to marry under current circumstances.

The difference between HB and DGM is DGM was focused on bad marriages and bad divorces, and HB has a lot of threads on things of interest to men who are learning to live well without marriage. It is true that we have two sub-forums which get most of the traffic, and they are the negative ones...

Even though by 1984, I knew marriage was a bad idea, it made no sense to divorce to avoid divorce. To my surprise, I am still married, and normally living in a Third World village in Mexico.

But, no, I would never again marry anywhere in the Anglosphere nor can I recommend it to anyone else.

And, probably in Mexico, I would enter into what I am told is called a 'private marriage', which is very common. The legal term in Mexico is 'free union', and around half the couples in my rural village seem to be in that status, which I refer to as 'married', not married, to make clear the difference. The couple just moves in together, and announces they are married. The difference between that in Mexico and the US is, in Mexico, the couple consider themselves married, and in the US generally couples in that circumstances do not think of themselves as married.

I do this because in that culture they believe they are married; their neighbors and family believe they are married, in every sense except the law, they are viewed and view themselves as married. my wife's 90 year old aunt, at death's door, has been 'married' for around 70 years, and is viewed as married in every sense, not shacking up as we would view it in the US.

I transferred many of my postings from the expat section of DGM to our own expat section, including I believe on that topic.

In my own opinion, that is my main contribution to this board as a married man, because while not everyone is interested in expatting, some are, and I get a lot of PM's on the topic from men who are considering expatting. We don't yet have many men here who are expatting. Those guys went to other message boards.

I do not recommend bringing an import to the US. Nor, do I really recommend marrying in Mexico or other foreign country. I don't know about the other countries, but in Mexico, the 'marriage' is very common and openly accepted. That would be my recommendation to those who are determined to have a family, though it is true many men for one reason or another simply cannot expat.

That is because if you test first, the chances of a successful marriage are high, and if you do make a mistake, the costs of the mistake are minimal.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Tue May 19, 2009 3:26 am

[quote]Makes me wonder what was in that box, that she wanted so much.... ;)
[/quote]
, it was full of books, pictures, purses, CD's, DVD's, perfume, costume jewelry, hair clips, brushes, and other "crap".


[quote]But, no, I would never again marry anywhere in the Anglosphere nor can I recommend it to anyone else.[/quote]
... as they say: marriage is like having cable with just one channel.

irlandes

What men should know before getting married

Post by irlandes » Tue May 19, 2009 10:12 am

Good one, superbad. In my case, I am the type who would naturally prefer marriage, to a decent woman with decent kids you helped raise yourself, as head of the family.

There are two problems with seeking a patriarchal family with yourself as family head.

The Quote of the Year was on Markymark's blog. He said he believes there are good women in the US. The problem is, he said, they do nothing to distinguish themselves so we men can tell the difference.

The second problem. One percent chance that a good man will be divorced by his wife might be tolerable. Ten percent might also be tolerable, though I tend not to think so. But, No Way, Jose!

Life in a sleeping room while most of your money goes to kids you can't even recognize any more (been there; done that) is not living. Don't do it, guys. Learn to enjoy your unmarried life so you feel no urge to become slaves to an insane woman.

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What men should know before getting married

Post by superbad » Tue May 19, 2009 3:18 pm

[quote]In my case, I am the type who would naturally prefer marriage, to a decent woman with decent kids you helped raise yourself, as head of the family.
[/quote]
i would prefer a harem, no modern weapons, a gladiator pit...


[quote]The Quote of the Year was on Markymark's blog. He said he believes there are good women in the US. The problem is, he said, they do nothing to distinguish themselves so we men can tell the difference.[/quote]
if she walks like a duck... and talks like a duck...

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Post by arcangel911 » Tue May 19, 2009 5:22 pm

So do you get a tax break in Mexico then if you are married or is the government not involved in the marriage?

In the states you get a marriage break, or so I am told, but here lately all my friends say it more of a tax increase than a tax deduction or relief.

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