Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

christopheroregon
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by christopheroregon » Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:54 am

Fellows;

There's this guy at work. Actually a bunch of them, but this particular guy, Kent, is the proud father of a daughter that's getting married this weekend. Saturday, to be exact. At noon. And no, amazingly, yours truly wasn't invited. :roll: The nerve of some people. I never go to funerals or weddings, anyway. I can't stand to be around dead people.

Now, Kent is your typical married guy. Wife, house, kids. The whole shebang. Even a couple of dogs. He claims to have a good marriage, and you know, that's just so wrong on so many levels. I can't stand syrupy guys who ooze all over about their wives. It's just bad manners.

So, being the concerned citizen that I am, I try and root out such bad behavior and correct it.

Today, Kent was sitting at his desk talking about the upcoming nuptials on Saturday. I happened to stroll by, and was listening to this clutch of married guys talking like a bunch of old women. Utterly disgusting. I fucking hate married men. I stopped, and when I could get a word in edgewise, I innocently asked "Wow. How much is all of this gonna set you back?"

Dead silence.

God, I'm evil.

"Uh, well, the flowers alone..." he started.

"No, no. I mean how much will the whole day cost you? Total, I mean."

"Sixty-thousand dollars."



More silence. Not a word from anyone.

"Wow." I said. "Didn't you just pay for your older daughters wedding last year?"

He sighed, shrugged his shoulders, and said "Yeah, I sure did."

Hmm. He wasn't looking so happy at this point.

"Did that one cost the same?" I inquired.

"No, that was only $40,000."

"Hmm," I said, "How did you pay for that one?"

(Come on, it's a fair question. I just gotta know.)

He kind of sat up and started shuffling papers, and said "A second mortgage on the house."

"Ouch." I said. "Gonna do a third one for this wedding?"

"Well, that and I have to sell my motorcycle." he responded.

"You've got a motorcycle?" I asked.

"Yeah, a Harley."

"Damn, I didn't know you rode."

"Just got it last month, too."

"So, you've got to sell it to finance your daughter's wedding, eh?"

"Yeah." He slumped back in his chair.

"That's gotta hurt."

"Yeah."

I stood there a moment reflecting on what I knew about this guy.

"Don't you have three other daughters?" I asked. He just sat there slowly nodding his head.

"You ever consider telling them about the virtues of being lesbians?" I asked.

"All the time." he laughed.

I don't know. Maybe he is happy. Maybe he likes having to mortgage his future for five one-day ceremonies which are nothing but egotistical orgies of narcissism. Maybe that's okay for him.

Me, on the other hand, get to go out to my garage and plant a big wet one on the gas tank of my beloved Electra Glide and say "There but for the grace of God go I."

(More atheistic sarcasm.)

Christopher in Oregon

ryan30
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by ryan30 » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:06 am

What kind of idiot raises so many daughters, anyways?

This guy must have been a mass-murderer in his previous life to deserve such punishment.

No wonder fathers are delighted to get their daughters married at the earliest. Who wants that kind of useless burden.

Women truly are Worthless!!!

christopheroregon
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by christopheroregon » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:09 am

Worthless? I dunno. He's got one worth $40,000, and another worth $60,000.........

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dsc
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by dsc » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:43 am

I could only imagine the weddings increasing in price for each daughter too.

Partly due to inflation, but mostly because each daughter wants to out-do the one before her.



This guy is going to be working until he can't anymore..

salinger

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by salinger » Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:31 am

What's also interesting here is the daughter's expectation that Dad will pay, no matter what the cost. After all, it's HER day. Never mind the bloke standing next to her. Weddings these days are so drenched in narcissism it's nauseating.

The thing is, if princess here is expecting this just for her wedding, imagine what the expectations will be during her marriage. I cringe just thinking about it.

And let's not forget dear old Dad. If he's in his 50s and has to take on additional debt to pay for this shin-dig, I have a hard time believing he's on track for retirement.

ndt

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by ndt » Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:16 am

It'll get muuuuuch worse IMO.

Once he finances all his daughters weddings his wife will then divorce him.

And you all know what happens then.

boogyman

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by boogyman » Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:50 am

I'm sure his wife had absolutely no influence in helping to plan this outlandish dog and pony show for the blushing (yeah, right) bride :roll:

Wait until the spoiled brat grandchildren come along. He isn't off the hook after the wedding day, not by a long shot :D

Longshot39
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by Longshot39 » Fri Jul 30, 2010 8:55 am

Right, it's best just being one of the other relatives, such as a brother, cousin, etc. 50 bucks and a nice card, and you've done your part.

rowingdude
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by rowingdude » Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:41 am

I know this is a "longshot".. but does his wife work? Unless he lives his life in debt (sad reality), there has to be some supplemental income somewhere or they'd be bankrupt already?

christopheroregon
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by christopheroregon » Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:16 am

Does his wife work? Well, she did. Yes, she did indeed. She made more than he did, but she decided at the ripe old age of 42 that she wanted to retire so she can stay home to help with any forthcoming grandchildren.

So, he pays for purdy much everything. What a lucky guy. I envy him.



CIO

rowingdude
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by rowingdude » Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:17 am

At 42? What a bitch..

3dartist

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by 3dartist » Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:19 am

Damn, $60K. No wonder the wedding industry is so powerful. How much does this guy make? How many days does he have to work to make that much money (after taxes)?

number6

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by number6 » Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:16 pm

I guess getting married at city hall and paying $25.00 just won't cut it.

crackpot

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by crackpot » Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:39 pm

Heh, "Daddy's Little Princess" and "Nothing's too good for my little girl" pop into my mind after reading this. I can imagine the look on his face when eventually those girls get divorced years down the road... all that money wasted!

People read all those lavish magazines and watch the celebrities on TV and think "Oh wow I just gotta have that lifestyle!". I see women at work read those things and basically talk about if the men aren't going to give them that they'll break up with them, wedding dresses alone can set you back thousands of dollars. Forget two months salary on a damn engagement ring, and more on the actual wedding ring.

ndt

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by ndt » Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:04 pm

[quote]Heh, "Daddy's Little Princess" and "Nothing's too good for my little girl" pop into my mind after reading this. I can imagine the look on his face when eventually those girls get divorced years down the road... all that money wasted!

People read all those lavish magazines and watch the celebrities on TV and think "Oh wow I just gotta have that lifestyle!". I see women at work read those things and basically talk about if the men aren't going to give them that they'll break up with them, wedding dresses alone can set you back thousands of dollars. Forget two months salary on a damn engagement ring, and more on the actual wedding ring.
[/quote]

How about tomorrows Chelsea Clinton wedding?

See the $$$ amounts they're speaking of?

$3 to $5 million dollars for a matter of hours will be GONE!

What a waste, what a BS it will be, what a , what a short marriage I think it'll be.

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Prodigal Son
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by Prodigal Son » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:46 pm

Christopher;

This makes for great reading, a real does of reality! I think that many men are unfortunately in the same position as he is and they're so locked up in their own slavery that they don't even realise it, to point this out to them is one of the cardinal sins and most will hate you for it because they finally at that point wake up to the truth of it all and I wouldn't blame them for bursting out in tears because they've been sold a lie and most don't even know it. Marriage just isn't worth anything at all in my eyes, a man is merely a ATM machine for the women of today and the very fact that a father has to pay, yes pay for another man to take over responsibility for his daughter should be enough warning as from that point on it's your job to care for daddies little princess who I can pretty much guarantee will have ever increasing demands as time goes on as well as an ever increasing waistline... but as bachelors? we know that already my friend and that's why we avoid women and marriage and go it alone instead. Take care Christopher, it's always good to hear from you and to know that you're safe and well.

~ Prodigal Son :)

alabama777

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by alabama777 » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:57 pm

Ya, n Chelsea's face has been grafted from Mother Thersa. So lovely.
U know, the economy really sucks now. But just knowing there are Manginas paying through their ass for useless weddings n divorces, i feel that my life is a dream come true. Freedom is the greatest gift anyone can have. Manginas are just that; by products of child like skanks. This doomed father of the brides is too painful to think about. Now I KNOW what RIP means.

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Modelautoman
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by Modelautoman » Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:28 pm

Chris, I think you really made this guy's day. You is a mean dude.;)
I bet you watch Bridezillas just to get a good laugh.

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superbad
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by superbad » Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:45 pm

http://www.i32.tinypic.com/zmk1ub.jpg

the irony here is that letting his 42 year old wife retire, selling his Harley, and shelling out $100k, so far, in weddings WON'T even get him a bronze in the mangina Olympics... no sir! he's a novice, a stooge, a stool softener... an amateur fluffer. Christopher please describe for me his wife, please tell me she has a slender figure any 18 year old would die for, tremendous perky cans, inherited $10 million from her folks, is sweet as molasses, likes making sandwiches, and keeps the female nonsense in her head to herself. LIE. :P

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mfsob
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by mfsob » Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:08 pm

Stories like this make me cringe on one hand, but stiffen my resolve on the other. I have two daughters ... after I get done paying for their court-ordered educations, if they decide to get married, I have decided I am going to write each one of them a check for a low four-figure amount and say, "I love you, this is what I can do, I will be happy to walk you down the aisle if you want me to, if you feel need more you can discuss it with your mother."

Who currently makes about double what I do (oh the irony!) :D

alabama777

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by alabama777 » Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:55 pm

[quote]Stories like this make me cringe on one hand, but stiffen my resolve on the other. I have two daughters ... after I get done paying for their court-ordered educations, if they decide to get married, I have decided I am going to write each one of them a check for a low four-figure amount and say, "I love you, this is what I can do, I will be happy to walk you down the aisle if you want me to, if you feel need more you can discuss it with your mother."

Who currently makes about double what I do (oh the irony!) :D[/quote]

EXACTLY!

sjenner
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by sjenner » Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:25 pm

Wowzer! I am SO glad to have escaped the beartrap of marriage. My babies will be my Lambo and Ferrari if I make it big.

bothrops

Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by bothrops » Sat Jul 31, 2010 2:26 am

If I have ever have kids..much less daughters I will NOT be paying for that antiquated bullshit.

Fuck that!Maybe a couple grand but the upper double digits? For a wedding? For one day?

Fuck That !

christopheroregon
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by christopheroregon » Sat Jul 31, 2010 3:22 am

Gents;

His wife, you say? Well, she's kind of........big. Not huge, mind you. Just big. In a soft, cuddly grizzly bear kind of way. She wasn't always big. He has a picture on his desk taken when she was in her twenties. Not bad. Today, though, she's big. Not ugly; just big. Too big for me, anyway.

He's in law enforcement, so he makes around $80,000 with OT. I notice he works a lot of overtime, too. Hmm. I do too, but I don't spend it on weddings for a daughter.

I guess I'm just selfish. :roll:

My bad.

CIO

christopheroregon
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Another perk of marriage: Weddings!

Post by christopheroregon » Sat Jul 31, 2010 3:55 am

Fellers;

More info that I weaseled out of Kent today. I is soooo nosy.

Daughter number one is currently separated from her husband. Not divorced, mind you. It's just a trial separation. Huh. I'm sure they'll get back together again, because there is nothing quite as strong as the love of a good woman........(oh, God, stop the voices in my head! )

Now, I've seen pictures of his girls. Cute, all of them. I can't really fault their appearance. But, the point of this posting was not to attack them personally. I really don't know them at all, and they're just doing what any predatory female does. I just wanted to give y'all young whippersnappers a heads-up about how damn expensive a woman and her brats can be. It ain't no free ride, my friends. It costs money, and lots of it.

The initial birth should be a wake-up call to a guy. The hospital expenses, diapers, strollers, toys, clothes that are rapidly outgrown, medicine, baby food.....the list is endless.

And the TIME!

Yes, the time! We have a finite amount of TIME on this rock, men. Do you really want to spend it wiping raw, oozing, smelly manure off of a babies ass ten times a day? Do you know what it feels like to have a baby piss all over a new suit? Do you know what a diaper service will run you? Do you know what it feels like to have to rush to the emergency room at midnight with a child that bumped its head, only to have the doctor look suspiciously at you as if you're an abuser, and know that he had to notify the police by law- just in case?

Do you know what it's like to have every spare dollar you make go to paying for everything for that child, and never have a dime left for yourself? Imagine walking down the aisle of your favorite appliance store and eyeing the big screen t.v.s. Nope, you can't have one. You have to buy braces for your bitchy, pubescent brat's teeth. Oh, joy.

Picture yourself standing there, holding a screamin' monster in your arms, while your neighbor rides off on the weekend on his shiny new Harley. Imagine the misery of that scenario.

Ever been to Toys R Us? Ever priced toys lately?

It never ends! As the child grows older, the expenses mount. School supplies fer instance. I remember back in high school when you played sports everything was provided free. Not now; at least not here in Oregon. You have to pay for the coach, uniforms, and other fees. It can run you well over $1000 if your kid wants to play football in extra fees alone. Then, if the little bastard likes to play a new sport every season, you're really screwed. If you have multiple kids in school, then....

Every single thing your kid owns YOU will be paying for. Everything. I'm not saying it's wrong; it just IS. They say it runs several hundred thousand dollars to raise a kid. Average that out over 18 years, and you can kiss your own hobbies and desires buh-bye.

Are kids that desirable? I don't get it. They're booger machines. They shit their diapers, and then they shit all over YOU. What's the point? Yeah, I know. Carry on the family name. What a crock of shit. Yeah, more shit. Children are an insanely over rated source of happiness. They suck.

The costs don't stop at eighteen. There's college, and YOU are expected to pay for ALL of it. Every penny. So, your idiot daughter wants to go to a four-year school and major in art history? Ooh, trendy! And she wants to do it WHERE? At $30,000 a year? WTF? Couldn't she get that useless degree at the local community college? Does it really have to be UC at Berkeley? What's she gonna do with an art history degree anyway? Paint the walls at the McDonalds she'll be working at when she graduates?

Then she decides she'll get married. And YOU get to pay for it. ALL of it. More $$$ down the shitter.

It never ends. She starts pumping out brats of her own, and she needs a babysitter. Guess who gets to babysit the little demons for free? Yeah, YOU grandpa. Plus, you get to buy lots and lots of presents for the little mongloids. Birthday, xmas, the works.

It never ends. Never.

If you marry, you will never have a moment's peace. Your wife, HER children, their children....all will conspire to suck the very life out of you. You have NO idea how bad it will be. Every penny you make, every second of the clock, everything...all belongs to them. Your family. The family that hates you.

This is what happens when I drink a pot of coffee just before bedtime.

Christopher in Oregon.

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