My Screwup

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pyrelight

My Screwup

Post by pyrelight » Sun Nov 29, 2009 6:04 pm

I haven't told this story before because it's pretty embarrassing to have been in such a position, but as I see more young men on this board, I think it's time that I shared. I learned the hard way, so maybe some of you won't have to.

A few years ago working at a small company I wasn't so wise to women. I was much more green in many ways. The worst way I was green was in believing that I could have real friends at work, even female friends. I just wanted to be warm, nice, encouraging, and human, and with that my fate at this company was already written on the wall, though I had no idea at the time.

I made "friends" with a woman at work. Let's call her Sally. She was about 15 years older than me, fat, ugly, appearing insecure, yet sweet and understanding in an almost motherly way. We confided in each other, shared the company gossip, I complimented her on her diet progress, constantly reassured her that her work was fine and she wasn't going to be fired, and we looked out for each other when someone tried to bend the truth about a work problem or project to their advantage. In short, I figured we were a great team, good friends, and everything was completely above board.

Then one day out of the blue I was called into the company owner's office. Sally had accused me of sexual harassment. She provided "proof," I still know not what to this day, and the boss literally fired me on the spot because my denial to him was as good as a lie, and he was the type who didn't tolerate liars. Whatever she said or showed him had him convinced, but I couldn't imagine what the hell it could be. It was only later that day when I called a supervisor that I found out that Sally had accused me. I never even had the chance to defend myself.

I swear to whatever a non-believer swears to that I never pursued her or had the least bit interest. I didn't flirt with her or anything. I simply didn't see her like that and gave her absolutely no reason to believe that I did. I don't know whether she made up some fantasy story in her head and believed I was harassing her or she just outright lied. In this matter I was completely pure.

The point of this story is simple. Do not talk about food or music. Do not talk about the weather. Do not talk about the crack in the ceiling tile above her desk. I was completely blindsided, humiliated, and made to look like a desperate pervert hitting on old fat women because I did not know or follow that rule. Don't let this happen to you. It matters not if the women at work think you are a wet blanket personality. Just ignore them and don't give them the slightest bit of material to work with.

You never know which woman will try to ruin you, so don't give any of them the chance. In the real world of work, bad things happen to good people, and lies often go unchallenged. The truth or your good character is no defense.

christopheroregon
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My Screwup

Post by christopheroregon » Sun Nov 29, 2009 6:49 pm

She may very well have accused you BECAUSE you didn't make overtures; or possibly SHE was making them and you didn't pick up on it. "Hell hath no fury......".

Cardinal rule number one in the work place:

NEVER, EVER fraternize with women, no matter how young, old, pretty, or ugly. Not if she is straight, gay or into goats. Every stinkin' woman is a threat and is the enemy. I don't care how sweet she appears to be, she is your mortal enemy.

Christopher in Oregon

pyrelight

My Screwup

Post by pyrelight » Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:05 pm

If only I had found such wisdom years ago. Even then I might not have taken it to heart and put it into practice because I was still so fresh and had some naive high ideals about people. On the bright side, I was bitten while still young so it didn't destroy a career or anything, but I quickly learned that no matter how things appear, the work world is a shark tank, and women are great white sharks with frikken laser beams on their heads.

Young men nearing the end of school or just entering work, I implore you to take the lessons here about dealing with women at work to heart. For me I had no choice but to do so. It really hurt, I mean physically in my heart, couldn't sleep, tight chest, filled with confusion and anxiety, to find myself betrayed, unemployed, and thought the worst of by people I respected. I don't wish that upon anyone. This is no joke. It's not academic. It's not just forum banter. This is how it is.

analyzing
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My Screwup

Post by analyzing » Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:09 pm

Hey... look at it this way

Chalk it up as a mistake, it could be worse. Everybody makes mistakes.

Most of the time I have my mp3 on... don't want to communicate with the "ladies". Fuck that... I'm starting to taste their desperation in the air. Trying to give me the eye(sexually)... please I know the rules. ;)

Either way, I really watch what I say to the females @work. I would say 5% are fuckable, that's it. Pathetic. Need to keep saving for expat trips. :x

henrytudor

My Screwup

Post by henrytudor » Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:31 pm

Pyrelight, you are correct. Women are only filled with negative emotions. (Some say emotions are neither negative or positive, but the people who say that are women.) Envy, hatred, jealousy, revenge.

The tactics they employ are gossip, slander, verbal harassment, etc. All of this in an effort to ruin your reputation with the other bitches, cause you to lose your livelihood, or even to put a man in prison.

Most of the time it only rises to the first few stages.

It all depends on how much work it is for the woman, how much it will inconvenience her, and how much she thinks she is likely to be believed.

Your previous boss may not have believed her at all. It may have been that it was looking for a reason to get rid of you, and a single accusation gave him the reason. Or it could have been something else. Who knows?!

I have noticed that there are never any women who will break with the herd. They know if the rest of the women dont like you, well they better not like you either. Their social acceptance is much more valuable than your friendship could ever be.

Yet they will also hold it against you if you do not strike up the proper level of friendship with them.

Before 1900 we had it right. Women do not deserve the rights afforded to men. Prostitution should be legal, and women under the control of fathers and husbands. Women only destroy when given the tiniest sliver of power.

I have physical problems today because of women's power. I know first hand.

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arcangel911
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My Screwup

Post by arcangel911 » Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:41 pm

I have to admit pyrelight- I have to be honest, you got away lucky... you only lost your job. You could have ended up in court and with all the info you two traded over the years.... you could have been seriously hanged.

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MarcusAurelius
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My Screwup

Post by MarcusAurelius » Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:16 am

pyrelight, I am so sorry you had to go through this man. You didn't do anything wrong. I hope you don't beat yourself up over it. I think its normal to think you can associate with them, you assume, its just work, I want to be on a nice level with my co workers. No harm whatsoever in that. Trouble with bitches is that they are vindictive, manipulative, and the Judas types, say you're great to your face, then knife you in the back to others. I can't tell you how many women I've associated at work with over the years in various jobs were like that, spreading gossip and bullshit about me. I always frickin found out too, one way or another. At my current job, I talk to women all the time.......all the time.......

OLDER women. Its funny. I'm being dead serious. There are several older women, in their mid to late forties, 50s, 60s, that I've come to really enjoy talking to. Its a night and day difference, I tell you. You know how most women your age will ignore you completely, unless you speak to them first, or they PICK you...not so with these. Several older ladies have exchanged very nice pleasentries with me, to the point where I now hang out with some of them on my breaks. They are everything these trash whores aren't. Warm, friendly, non judgemental, and just pleasent to be around overall. I find myself, as I'm sitting there having lunch with them, wishing that women my own age were like this, instead of the nightmare psychotic bitches they are. Its so funny talking to these older ladies guys, I've been meaning to write about that on here, actually....cuz its like....a freak of nature or something....or like I've gone through some Star Trek timewarp into the past back to when american women were decent. I love THAT...even thinking of it like that. I really get a kick out of talking to these LADIES.

As to the ones in my age range.....just they way I like it, brothers. Total fucking ghost. They ignore me, I ignore them.

Although I wouldn't doubt but what some of the dumb bitches point fingers and gossip 'why does that guy talk to old ladies?'

LOL. To prove to myself that decent women do exist.

Fox Mulder, as always. I Want to Believe.

mako7

My Screwup

Post by mako7 » Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:07 am

I agree with the others-don't beat yourself up for trying to be a friendly decent human being. You definitely got the shitty end of the stick and it is not right.

Alternate theory to add to the above:

Maybe she wanted to make herself seem more attractive to someone else in the office by claiming a man actually wanted her.

I can see it now.

Sally's frumpy form standing by the coffee machine in the break room. Sucking in her fat gut while talking to Eric from accounting.

"Well..omg...did I tell you about that creep that was constantly stalking me? I finally reported him. So what are you doing this weekend?"

Or she wanted to play the victim card for sympathy and attention. As we all know-a victim status is revered and looked at as an achievement by WW. You can go on Oprah and cry and then write a book about it. Which will be turned into a movie on Lifetime.


-You are not the first person I have heard the fact that older women could be more tolerable...even friendly at times.

Don't know if it a generational thing or the hormones cocktail not being as vile at that age.

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My Screwup

Post by hhb » Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:26 pm

Gentlemen,

This incident was about power. Plain and simple. Women will burn you if they ever get a chance.

My rule is anything with a vagina cannot be trusted. No Exceptions!!!!!!!!!!!!

HHB

shade47

My Screwup

Post by shade47 » Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:33 am

I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die!

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mfsob
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My Screwup

Post by mfsob » Wed Sep 29, 2010 11:37 am

Another factor that (usually) comes into play is the female-dominated HR department ... like are going to be fair and impartial. I've sen it time and time again in places where I've worked, no matter what the situation, somehow the woman always comes out fine in the end if HR is run by a female, and the incident is tried on its merits if HR is run by a male.

They are part of the process that ultimate only cares about screwing you over, but good. Never, ever, forget that.

lovekraft

My Screwup

Post by lovekraft » Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:03 pm

A raised eyebrow when asking for coffee will get you sent to HR's inquisition.

Experience. Watch for and steer clear of the smug ones, the ones who challenge your eye contact, the flirts, and the 'butch'.

The quiet ones should be treated delicately and with respect.

lovekraft

My Screwup

Post by lovekraft » Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:06 pm

[quote author=mfsob board=best thread=5512 post=35298 time=1285778273]Another factor that (usually) comes into play is the female-dominated HR department ... like are going to be fair and impartial. I've sen it time and time again in places where I've worked, no matter what the situation, somehow the woman always comes out fine in the end if HR is run by a female, and the incident is tried on its merits if HR is run by a male.

I have had to deal with these hired pit-bulls. A nasty breed.

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Re: My Screwup

Post by inplainsight » Tue May 24, 2016 4:20 pm

henrytudor wrote:Pyrelight, you are correct. Women are only filled with negative emotions. (Some say emotions are neither negative or positive, but the people who say that are women.) Envy, hatred, jealousy, revenge.
Women simply thrive on drama, whereas men usually thrive on competition, domination (healthy or unhealthy).

This is why it seems, to the male mind, that woman X always seems to be complaining about one thing or the other. She isn't. She is simply acting in accordance to her natural nature. Hence the ancient male wisdom, women and children should be seen...not heard.
How paradoxical that woman, herself incapable of love, should attract the love of man.

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