Give up and Get Over It

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outcastsuperstar
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Give up and Get Over It

Post by outcastsuperstar » Sat Sep 11, 2010 12:54 am

This was a thread created by thousandmilemargin from HB1

Thousandmilemargin writes

I said in my last post...

"The funny thing is that the more a batchelor turns his back on the idea of trying to please women, and pursuits his own personal development, the more attractive he will become to women. If you are going to really go your own way, you have to develop your "personal power". And women are attracted to power in all its forms."

Am I suggesting that we cultivate an indifference to women so we can become more attractive to women? No. But I am suggesting that you should be open to the possibility that you may in time have some mutually agreeable interactions with women once you have learned not to expect anything.

I suppose this forum has for some provided a useful place to vent their frustrations against women. Personally I'm over it.
If women are frustrating, learn not to care. If you don't care, why are you wasting so much energy on them? Wouldn't it be better for your own peace of mind and happiness to focus your emotional energy on your personal goals?

Women are the ones who define themselves in terms of who they are "doing". Men should define themselves in terms of what they are doing - the pursuit of the things that are important to them. Your identity and your self-respect comes from internally determined goals. Defining yourself in terms of the approval of others is for girls and girly-men.

My advice, which I endeavour to live up to myself, is to stop expecting anything from women. Stop thinking they are going to understand you or make you happy. Stop thinking sex with a woman is some sort of Whole-ly Grail. Stop thinking you need to be loved to be whole. Stop thinking, in fact, that there is anything magical about a human being that allows you to enter some sort of state of grace when another person agrees to sleep with you and hold your hand.

Give up. The get up and go forward without any expectations regarding the opposite sex. Just live your life. When you do actually get over the loss of the romantic dream, you may find that you no longer expect anything much from women, you no longer feel much in the way of resentment, but they are still interesting.

After all, lions and sharks and trees and bugs are interesting too. And women, like the rest of the natural world, can be quite facinating when observed from a safe distance.

People on this forum have written some rather nasty (and true) things about the behaviour of various women. But it is worth remembering that about 10% of them are still decent, sane human beings. You may find you enjoy interacting with them under carefully controlled conditions.

outcastsuperstar
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Give up and Get Over It

Post by outcastsuperstar » Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:08 am

Nemesis made a thread similar to this one called Not Caring

Here is what Nemesis had to say

Ive recently been giving some thought on what it means to not care. What prompted me is the plethora of articles about Peter Pan syndrome that excoriate men for wanting to remain single.

Ill get right to it.

In an MGTOW sense, what I mean by not caring is not caring what other people think of me. Now, since it I in fact do care if, say, for example, my neighbors think I am a murderous villain when I am not, mostly because their outlook can have concrete effects on my existence, it would be silly for me to say that I do not care what ANYONE thinks of me. I certainly do have practical reasons for caring what some people think of me. But lets carry this over into the Peter Pan Syndrome hullabaloo. I can say that I do not care what people think of me because of my averred bachelorhood, but I think Ive been wrong in this respect. I realize now that in claiming I do not care what these people think of me, what I really mean is that what these people think of me has no concrete effect on the way I live. In other words, I am not philosophically or morally influenced by the views of these people. In that sense, I do not care what they think as far as making my own choices. I might care what they think as far as how they treat me practically, but in making my OWN moral and intellectual choices, I choose to go my own way.

Not caring, in this sense, is a statement of philosophical and moral freedom. I no longer rely on others to formulate my views (and hence my lifestyle) for me. I can in fact care what they think, but that does not have to influence the way I ACT. As an autonomous human being, I have a CHOICE, regardless of what people think or how I react to it. It is not that I do not care; it is that I chose to live the way I see fit regardless of what people think. It is not about NOT CARING. It is about moral and intellectual FREEDOM and the ability to make autonomous choices based on those freedoms.

After all, if I really did not care, I wouldnt even bother talking about it. The fact that I have any kind of reaction at all indicates that I do care. Again, my TRUE FREEDOM lies in acting the way I see fit regardless of what people think, and regardless of my negative or positive reactions to that. I act as I will, regardless.

People are not threatened by people who do not care. They are threatened by people who are truly free. No one wants to be around anyone who does not share their sense of imprisonment. As they say, misery loves company. It also loves moral and philosophical compliance. That is why I have gotten more vehement responses by calmly stating my views and my resultant choices rather than acting like a typical player. People can deal with a player easily because most players do not state a coherent philosophy. On the other hand, when a person indicates that he is intellectually and morally independent, he is seen as a threat to the status quo. A player is simply an ANOMALLY who can be dealt with through scorn, upbraiding, etc. An MGTOW is an altogether different matter. They do not know how to deal with us, because theyve never dealt with someone who is truly free in these matters; hence, we are threat to their system.

And so, when faced with the usual upbraiding about my bachelor lifestyle, I simply tell people, Look, you have the right to think what you want, but Im going to live how I see fit regardless. Theres nothing you can do about that except to not be around me anymore if you dont like it. The choice is yours. Having stated my moral and philosophical views, and having clearly indicated that I will not change them regardless of what anyone says or thinks of me, I am throwing the ball back into their court and giving them the choice. After all, choice is freedom. Why not see what people choose to do with it?

outcastsuperstar
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Give up and Get Over It

Post by outcastsuperstar » Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:09 am

turdferguson writes

I think folks know me well enough to know that I don't care simply because I have no reason to. That is not to say that I'm an uncharitable heartless bastard, its just that I do not share the nonstop everyday drama and worries that married couples and parents have to deal with. I now have the rare ability to shrug and walk away at any time from any situation and that is a gift that many who are trapped in marriage and/or debt envy.

Matriarch society handed me a bushel of lemons and instead of feeing sorry for myself or becoming a Mangina I simply walked over and sat under the shade tree and drank a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade without a care in the world :D

I do not try to keep up with the Jones' because I have no one to impress other than myself. Modern American woman no longer cost me a dime. The sexy young women look at me as an invisible old man and the single ones my age are erection killing damaged goods so serious dating or marriage is completely out of the question.

Instead of buying the latest shiny new things I would rather maintain and enjoy what I already have, save, invest, and retire early. Let the Matriarch figure out how to keep the gears of society turning after all the real men have become apathetic, tuned out and gone home.

Madsen
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Give up and Get Over It

Post by Madsen » Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:13 am

I liked Nemesis' distinction about the autonomy aspect of 'not caring' --- it's something I've struggled in the past to articulate, both to myself and others. I think the book read! (unfortunately it's out of print so try to find it at your library or used book store)

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Arrownight
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Re: Give up and Get Over It

Post by Arrownight » Fri Jun 07, 2013 1:44 am

Madsen said

"I liked Nemesis' distinction about the autonomy aspect of 'not caring' --- it's something I've struggled in the past to articulate, both to myself and others. I think the book read! (unfortunately it's out of print so try to find it at your library or used book store)"

i think the book read? could you please tell me what you mean?

Its out of print? Is this a book? If so I would very much like to read it. What is the name of the book?

Thank you for your time.

recluse
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Re: Give up and Get Over It

Post by recluse » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:47 am

Vindicare:
If you click upon the members name on the post,it will bring up the profile page of that user-which will tell you when that person last came to the forum.

It has been a full year since "Madsen' was here.
So you are not likely to get an answer to your question.

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Arrownight
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Re: Give up and Get Over It

Post by Arrownight » Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:24 pm

Thanks Recluse, didn't notice that

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