Search found 223 matches

by christopheroregon
Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:27 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents;

So far, no word from either Ruth or Max. Who knows what'll happen.

But fear not. At fifty, I'm firmly in control of my emotions and my sex drive. I'm enjoying screwing with women, but I'm careful. I haven't made it this far as a bachelor by being foolish, ya know.

Christopher in Oregon
by christopheroregon
Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:24 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; Oh, crap. I forgot to tell you about Nasal. Shit. Memory failing and all that. Nasal actually became a full-fledged lesbian, and says she hates all men. So I'm told anyway. I was the last man she seriously pursued, and I would hate to think I in any way caused her to change her questionable o...
by christopheroregon
Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:22 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; So here's where this thread disappeared to.... Well, women can sure enough throw you for a loop. Never underestimate the enemy, my boys. Last night, the phone rang, and of course it was Ruth. Tenacious Ruth. The eternal matchmaker Ruth. Not that she's the only person who calls me, mind you. S...
by christopheroregon
Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:57 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Fellers; Mind you, I have a code of ethics I go by. I will not under any circumstances touch a woman who is married, period. Adultery is not something I will participate in. Besides, I fear STD's, and I no longer want to have physical relations with any woman. I'm beyond apathetic anymore. I just li...
by christopheroregon
Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:54 am
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Fellers; Lo and behold, the phone rang last night just as I was getting ready for my much needed beauty sleep. 'Twas Ruth, yet again. "Christopher? Don't hang up on me again, damn it." "Are you going to play nice, Ruth?" Pause. "Yes." "Well then, what can I do for you, my dear?" "What's it going to ...
by christopheroregon
Mon Feb 21, 2011 12:27 am
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; Shit oh dear. Just when you think you've got them figured out.... Well, I do, actually. Have them figured out, that is. Ruth gave me a holler this morning and wanted to know why I was being so mean to Maxine. To be specific, she said "Why are you such an asshole?" Well. That's rather blunt. I...
by christopheroregon
Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:14 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; Fifty is a magic number. You're not dead yet, but a certain power comes over you. You have zero need for a woman yet women want you more because women desire security above all else. All the feminist bitching and moaning will never change that basic need in women. I have that security availab...
by christopheroregon
Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:08 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; I was sitting in my beloved Barca Lounger last night, just about to start watching "The Soprano's" season four. And as an aside, I must say that as a bachelor, you will be able to afford a Barca Lounger. Anyway, Tony was just driving up his driveway as the show was starting and I was pumped a...
by christopheroregon
Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:52 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; In yesterday's mail, I found a nice red envelope with no return address. Hmm. I opened it up, and inside I found a photograph of an apparently not-bad looking woman standing behind thu-ree small children. Three. Boom-boom-boom. All in a row. Five and six and seven. Or so. Give or take. Also i...
by christopheroregon
Tue Feb 15, 2011 2:58 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

AC; Correct, and I'm neither homophobic or racist. A high percentage of my friends are either black or gay. But, white, hetero males are the new "witches" to be burned at the stake. It seems our society has to demonize someone, be they Jew, black, gay, atheist or just plain old man himself. Someone ...
by christopheroregon
Tue Feb 15, 2011 1:14 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; Analyze the phrase "going your own way". Until recently, I never really and truly gave it deep thought in relation to how I'm living my life. But, I really have gone my own way. Completely. I'm really coming to grips with that reality and how it affects my behavior. Now, I'm a humanist. I don...
by christopheroregon
Sun Feb 13, 2011 4:01 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Uh, yeah. A definite no, but I don't think I convinced her of anything.She wants to bring this broad over to see my "silly antiques".

And no, she never did apologize to my beloved Elmo.

Christopher in Oregon
by christopheroregon
Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:50 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: An annoying interruption
Replies: 84
Views: 19748

An annoying interruption

Gents; I was sitting out on my porch the other morning, smoking one of my lovely antique pipes, luxuriating in the essence of my cherry-vanilla blend of tobacco that my seller of all fine things tobacco-related prepares for yours truly. A very serene moment for a bachelor. All was well with the worl...
by christopheroregon
Mon Feb 07, 2011 10:11 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Why Online Porn Is A GameChanger
Replies: 16
Views: 7037

Why Online Porn Is A GameChanger

Marcus has hit it squarely on the head. Life is short; why stress about it? Is anyone going to care if you beat yourself into the ground when you die? Anyone at all? You will be quickly forgotten, and your memory will drift away with the sweat from your brow. Live for now, enjoy your hobbies, have f...
by christopheroregon
Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:40 am
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Why Online Porn Is A GameChanger
Replies: 16
Views: 7037

Why Online Porn Is A GameChanger

Porn is making women obsolete. No longer can they blackmail as effectively as in the past, because any man, even the supposedly "unworthy" men (by women's gold-digging standards) can get a woman, and not just any woman, but a drop-dead gorgeous woman. Any time, on demand. All it takes is the push of...
by christopheroregon
Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:32 am
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: What do you see when you look at women?
Replies: 30
Views: 11415

What do you see when you look at women?

Uh, CELLULITE.

Lots and lots of cellulite. Cellulite everywhere, up and down, high and low. Cellulite everywhere you go.

What, this wasn't the direction you were going.....?


Christopher in Oregon
by christopheroregon
Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:32 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Hell, this is getting monotonous...
Replies: 24
Views: 10388

Hell, this is getting monotonous...

Khank; As you know, the Marriott family is one of the most powerful families in Mormonism. They've been peddling alcohol in their bars! for years, and as you mention, porn as well. Huh. When they're doing their "tithing" does Salt Lake decline to accept any of the money generated by booze and porn- ...
by christopheroregon
Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:29 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Hell, this is getting monotonous...
Replies: 24
Views: 10388

Hell, this is getting monotonous...

Silentstorm 666; The fundamentalist/polygamist sects are under extreme fire from the government, women's groups on both the right and left, and even the authorities in Salt Lake, who hate them vehemently for existing and reminding people of Mormonism's polygamous past. I have several books written b...
by christopheroregon
Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:19 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Hell, this is getting monotonous...
Replies: 24
Views: 10388

Hell, this is getting monotonous...

Gents; Mormonism decided to mainstream in the late seventies. They had been denying blacks the priesthood, as they call it, and suddenly the prophet had a "revelation" that, in spite of former prophecies to the contrary saying blacks would NOT hold the priesthood any time soon, blacks were now eligi...
by christopheroregon
Thu Feb 03, 2011 1:33 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Hell, this is getting monotonous...
Replies: 24
Views: 10388

Hell, this is getting monotonous...

Gents; By that, I surely don't mean this forum. What IS getting monotonous is that I got yet another phone call from a man I know who has just felt the jaws of the family court system snap shut on his testicles. Leroy, (not exactly his real name but close enough) called to tell me that his wife toss...
by christopheroregon
Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:28 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: It's official...
Replies: 11
Views: 7697

It's official...

Gents; It's official. My older brother, the one who lives in The Netherlands, is now divorced. For the second time. When he went into this divorce, he felt sure he would win. After all, The Netherlands has laws that are "fair" to both genders. Or so he assured me. Hmm. One thing I've learned over th...
by christopheroregon
Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:30 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Speaking of sluts or, I told him so....
Replies: 19
Views: 7535

Speaking of sluts or, I told him so....

Gents; I was a Mormon myself for most of my life, and even back in the 80's, Mormon women were going downhill rapidly. Now, divorce is rampant even in that church. There is no refuge from the Slut. The Slut, meaning virtually every American woman, is now the norm. Women have no restraint, no morals,...
by christopheroregon
Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:21 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Speaking of sluts or, I told him so....
Replies: 19
Views: 7535

Speaking of sluts or, I told him so....

Gents; I found out the lowdown from another friend who knows Boob. Chlamydia and Ghonorrhea. Sobering. This is why, boys, if a woman insists you go down on her, make sure you haven't eaten yet. 'Cuz you're gonna get plenty of protein performing oral sex, and you won't need to eat dinner. Ick. Whethe...
by christopheroregon
Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:29 pm
Forum: Best of Happy Bachelors
Topic: Speaking of sluts or, I told him so....
Replies: 19
Views: 7535

Speaking of sluts or, I told him so....

Gents; Well, genital warts IS part of the HPV family. Different strains cause either cancer or warts. Some can cause both, or the warts can become cancerous. My guess would be chlamydia for one of them, as it's so common with women. Ghonorrhea would be my other guess. It's had a resurgence, and many...